In the course of our lives, we all owe something to someone. There are always some positive influences that enhance our state of being. This may make us wholeheartedly thankful. It also may make us feel that we are carrying 'the burden of gratitude.'
People are complicated, with an outer persona and an inner life which is hidden. Often we can't even understand ourselves. Because of this, we have to think carefully before we act. We can't simply allow others to dictate our response, but we shouldn't judge others harshly either.
Gratitude is a positive emotion unless experience has taught us that there's be a catch. It's also possible that, if we don't like the giver, we will resent being put into the position of having to say 'Thank you.' Sometimes we can be of two minds about it, liking what we are given but feeling that we're somehow compromised if we accept.
Maybe a parent has done something especially generous. Perhaps a coworker has praised us to a manager or selected us for a task force. This is fine if the gesture is sincere, freely given, and final. If something is demanded in return, now or later, then we may decide the price is too big to pay or that the 'gift' is a booby trap.
If a coworker does you a favor and then expects something in return, you may wish the whole thing had never happened. Sometimes a person is really trying to put you under an obligation rather than doing you a good turn. If they expect some kind of collusion from you that you feel is unprofessional or even dishonest, it can be a real problem. You will have to choose who you will be loyal to, your 'friend' or your employer.
If a fellow employee does us a favor, he or she may have a right to expect something in return. If their expectations are reasonable, an exchange of favors can strengthen the working relationship. However, if the coworker demands silence about improper procedures or wants a unearned commendation, this makes the 'debt' we owe onerous and maybe even dangerous.
In cases like this, we may not even feel grateful. However, the real question is how to deal with a situation. We can control our own reactions if we are mature, free, and able to reason things out. The debt may spur us to actions that benefit the other party. As long as we can do this honestly, this is a good thing. Many people take such an obligation as an incentive to visit more often, remember to give credit where credit is due, to pray for others, or to 'pay it forward'.
If we really do not feel grateful and, after consideration, feel we are justified in not doing so, we have to decide what to do. A child can leave an unhappy home when old enough. A worker can let the offender know their actions aren't appreciated, ask to be transferred, or simply ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. Unfortunately, this kind of thing might make a 'good' emotion - gratitude - into an emotional trial.
People are complicated, with an outer persona and an inner life which is hidden. Often we can't even understand ourselves. Because of this, we have to think carefully before we act. We can't simply allow others to dictate our response, but we shouldn't judge others harshly either.
Gratitude is a positive emotion unless experience has taught us that there's be a catch. It's also possible that, if we don't like the giver, we will resent being put into the position of having to say 'Thank you.' Sometimes we can be of two minds about it, liking what we are given but feeling that we're somehow compromised if we accept.
Maybe a parent has done something especially generous. Perhaps a coworker has praised us to a manager or selected us for a task force. This is fine if the gesture is sincere, freely given, and final. If something is demanded in return, now or later, then we may decide the price is too big to pay or that the 'gift' is a booby trap.
If a coworker does you a favor and then expects something in return, you may wish the whole thing had never happened. Sometimes a person is really trying to put you under an obligation rather than doing you a good turn. If they expect some kind of collusion from you that you feel is unprofessional or even dishonest, it can be a real problem. You will have to choose who you will be loyal to, your 'friend' or your employer.
If a fellow employee does us a favor, he or she may have a right to expect something in return. If their expectations are reasonable, an exchange of favors can strengthen the working relationship. However, if the coworker demands silence about improper procedures or wants a unearned commendation, this makes the 'debt' we owe onerous and maybe even dangerous.
In cases like this, we may not even feel grateful. However, the real question is how to deal with a situation. We can control our own reactions if we are mature, free, and able to reason things out. The debt may spur us to actions that benefit the other party. As long as we can do this honestly, this is a good thing. Many people take such an obligation as an incentive to visit more often, remember to give credit where credit is due, to pray for others, or to 'pay it forward'.
If we really do not feel grateful and, after consideration, feel we are justified in not doing so, we have to decide what to do. A child can leave an unhappy home when old enough. A worker can let the offender know their actions aren't appreciated, ask to be transferred, or simply ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away. Unfortunately, this kind of thing might make a 'good' emotion - gratitude - into an emotional trial.
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